All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
