I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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