lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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