I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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