Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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