Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
