I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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