the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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