bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
