she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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