I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
