so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
