Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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