Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize