I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
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I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
