Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
