We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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