if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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