dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize