we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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