Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
