He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Is Oprah even human
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
