so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
