we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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