Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
