It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just gift wrapped bread.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
