Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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