Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
