I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
