He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
