don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
