I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
