I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I have aggressive nipples.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
