Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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