Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
