Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
A bitchslap is in order.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize