I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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