This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
