i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
