JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
