May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize