I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
