it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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