Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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