help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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