then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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