I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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