I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
