I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
