he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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