My nipple is on Facebook.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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