someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
