The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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