That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
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im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
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Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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