I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
