Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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