I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
