I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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