Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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