I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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