I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
pop tarts are not kleenex
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
