I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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