I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize