Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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