just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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